In every Interval between Pageant and Pageant the Mob had still a new Project to put on Foot. By this time they had got a piece of Cloth of a Yard or more Square, this they dipt in the Kennel, till they had made it fit for their purpose, then tost it about, it Expending it self in the Air, and falling on the Heads of two or three at once, made ’em look like so many Bearers under a Pall, every one Lugging a several way to get it off his Head, oftentimes falling together by the Ears about plucking off their Cover-Slut. By that time 40 or 50 of the heedless Spectators were made as Dirty as so many Scavengers, the fourth Pageant was come up, which was a most Stately, Rich, and Noble Chariot, made of Slit-Deal and Paste-Board, and in it sitting a Woman Representing (as I fancy) the Whore of Babylon, drawn by two Goats, signifying her Lust; and upon the Backs of them two Figures Representing Jelousie and Revenge; her Attendance Importing the Miseries that follow her; and the Kettle-Drums and Trumpets serve to show that wheresoe’er she comes ’tis with Terror and Amazement.
The Rabble having chang’d their Sport to a new Scene of Unluckiness, had got a Bullocks-Horn, which they fill’d with Kennel-water, and pour’d it down Peoples Necks, and into their Pockets, that it run down their Legs into their Shoes; the Ignorant Sufferers not readily discovering from whence the wet came, were apt to think they had Bepiss’d themselves. When they had exercis’d this new Invention about a quarter of an Hour, the fifth Pageant mov’d forward, wherein all sorts of Trades were Represented; a Man Working at a Tobacco Engine, as if he was Cutting of Tobacco, but often did not; a Woman turning of a Wheel, as if she Spun, but did not; a Boy, as if he was Dressing an Old Womans Hat, but was not; which was design’d, as I suppose, to Reflect upon the Frauds and Failings of the City Traders, and show that they often pretend to Do whatthey
they do not, and to be what they are not; and will Say what they Think not, and will Think what they Say not, and that the World might see there are Cheats in all Trades.
The Countrymans Report of the Tower. A Description of the City-Mob upon a Lord-Mayors Day. Remarks upon Tower-Hill, and a Blind Beggar, and a Mumping Parson. A Description of the Tower, and the Rarities that are to he seen there. Remarks on the Tower-Wharf, and the Guns upon it. Reflections upon a Tavern, and an Astrologer in Prescot-Street in Goodmans-Fields. On the Salamanca-Doctors Meeting-House.
THE Triumphs of the City being now past by, they drew after them the Mobility, to our safe Deliverance, my Friend and I Clinging as fast to & Post, as a Bear to a Ragged Staff, to avoid being carry’d away by the Resistless Torrent of theRabble;