such a Qualm over my Stomach, that I had much ado to keep the stuffing of my Guts from tumbling into the Dripping-Pan; so scowring out again, thro’ an Army of Flies, In-camp’d at the Door, in order to Attack the Pig-Sauce, we defer’d our Eating till a cleanlier Opportunity.
Note, That this is but a small part of what’s intended on the Fair. And whatever is deficient here, shall be supply’d in the next.
THE
London-Spy.
PART XI.
A further Description of Bartholomew-Fair. Remarks upon the Eclipses of the Sun; the Observations of a Vintner and an Upholsterer thereupon; the Judgment of a Famous Astrologer upon the same.
BEING quite Surfeited with his Greasiness’s Cleanliness, our Jewish Stomachs began to be as much avers’d to Bartholomew-Fair-Swines-Flesh, as a Court Lady is to Onion-Sauce, or a Young Libertine to Matrimony. That the sight of a Pig was as hateful to me, for the Fortnight, as an Easter Gammon of Bacon to a Scotch Pedler; or Christmas-Porridge to an English Puritan. The eagerness of our Appetites being thus asswag’d without the expence of Eating, we fac’d about to the Wooden Sodom, and
suffer’dsuffer’d our selves to be carry’d back by an Inundation of Mobility, into the Body of the Fair: Where, in Compassion to one of the Female Gender, who was labouring in the Crowd, like a Fly in a Cobweb, I laid my hands upon my Friends Shoulders, and by keeping her between my Arms, defended her from the Rude Squeezes and Jostles of the Careless Multitude: In which Interim, she, to give me a Remarkable Instance of her Gratitude, put her hand behind her and Picked my Pocket of a good Handkerchief, in return of my Civility. Who, when she had done her Business, shuffl’d into the Crowd; and the next Minute after I discover’d my loss; which, as it was but small, begot but a Concern Proportionable. I could not, without some Shame, acquaint my Friend with the matter, expecting he would Laugh at me for my over-care of my Lady, and carelessness of my self: Who accordingly Ridicul’d my small Misfortune; and told me, Smiling, You must be as careful of Women in Bartholomew-Fair, as Country-People are of Stags in Rutting-time; for their accustomary ways of rewarding Kindnesses, are either to take something from you, you would unwillingly part with; or give you, on the contrary, that which you would be glad to be without.
Having heard much of a Comedians Fame, who had Manfully run the hazard of losing that Reputation in the Fair, which he had got in the Play-House; and having never seen him in his proper Element, we thought the time might not be very ill spent if we took a sight of another Best Show in the Fair, (for so they all stil’d themselves) that we might judge of his Performances. The Number of Kings, Queens, Heroes, Harlots, Buffoons, Mimicks, Priests, Profligates and Devils in the Balcony occasion’d us to believe with the Crowd, that there were no less Varieties to be seen within, than there were Signs of without; for,
indeed